Are you Swell? – Quiz

tumblr_nhf8bwX9eA1r48hglo1_1280Greetings, comrade! If you read our last two articles on the Art of Swell (They’re within easy reach of this one, which is quite swell; just click a bit) you are ready to take this quiz!

Are you “cool?” is a quiz many people undoubtedly take, because their understanding of life is lacking. Friends, comrades, swellies, this is the quiz for you: to define your levels of swell. What needs work? Find out below. Results available at the end. Stay swell.

1. If confronted by an Egyptian man with an eye-patch demanding you purchase an item from his market stall, what would you pick?

A. Snakeskin boots

2. Snakeskin belt

3. Leather fingerless gloves with built-in radiation sensors

4. A mysterious scroll which causes choir music in the background as you unfurl it.

2. When consuming a drink with a straw, what is your choice?

A. Liquified New Balance shoes with a touch of swell

2. Milkshake

3. Sprite

4. Diet Sprite

3. Alas, your castle is under siege. Weapon of choice:

A. You use a T-shirt cannon to fire ice-cream globules at your enemies

2. Sword and shield

3. A baseball bat wrapped in pink duct tape and a bad attitude

4. The fact you haven’t touched a bar of soap in eight months

4. What color is your leather jacket?

A. Peach

2. Black

3. Brown.

4. The color of hope and despair; man’s color; the color within us all. Cloaked in the night, you advance, a little cigarette smoke wafting from your lips, leaving passersby wondering: who is this man? You respond with only your musky odor and a rustle of your leathern collar, knowing that they will never understand.


5. Swelliest president of these United Swells:

A. Swelliham Lincoln

2. George Bush

3. Swelly Rooseswell

4. Andrew Jackswell

6. Final question, comrade! What is the greeting and parting phrase used by the truly swell?

A. Hello

B. Swellia a Swellia

C. Pass the salt, baby

D. What’s good?

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 3.21.54 PM

RESULTS: If you picked mostly A or 2, congratulations. Your are truly swell. If you hit a lot of C and D, your swelliness needs work. But don’t get a swell head if you did swell: that’s not what being swell is all about.

REWARD: Only look at this if you got at least 4 A’s or 2’s, comrade. It is very swell and reveals information about swell, lending a greater understanding to the novice swelly:


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