With Southern Boulevard’s 1-year Anniversary coming up next week, it’s time to take a look back.
Every good comedian knows how to self-deprecate. Similarly, Southern Boulevard has decided to self-assess for your pleasure. These are the eight dumbest things I have posted. Whether people liked them, viewed them or not is not the point. I’ve learned from them and don’t regret them as a result, but you can bet things like this won’t be posted again. It gets better towards the end.
#1: Some Annoying Pyramid Thing
This is a pretty good concept but it was executed terribly in Sketchbook Pro. I used uninteresting colors and font and while it’s not bad to accompany an article, as a full post this is pretty lame. One person liked it. Good for them.
#2: This Self-Portait Edited to be Black and White
Way better may be a stretch.
#3: Uninspired, a Clothing Line by Southern Boulevard This happened. Sadly. At one point, I had a page called “Merch” because I saw that on a rap artist’s site and thought it was really hip and cool. The only way selling merchandise from this blog will make sense is if there are a few hundred thousand people following it. Also, just look at it for a second. Why would you wear this? I guess it’s pretty sharp considering the rest of the “collection:”
CustomInk was used quite a bit here.
#4: This B&W Pic of Hemingway Calling up his Girl. Bro.
So way back when I first started the site I had a “Writing” page. I have one now too, except better. I used this because I thought very highly of myself at the time. I still think highly of myself, but at least it’s to a lesser extent. Also, Hemingway is kind of the Lax Bro of writers, making the statement “Sick calves bro” seem fairly appropriate here. I could have called this “The Calves of Kilimanjaro.” Points if you smirked knowingly at that. More points if you hate puns and are about to close the tab. Except you don’t close the tab, because you saw the next title.
#5: This Comic-ish Page about my Childhood Teddy Bear
Again, this happened. My sincerest apologies. I decided to post this in its smallest possible format and without a link so it is unreadable. I have no further comments.
#6: This Pretentious Non-Conclusive Thingy This is a kid trying something new. He did a pretty good try here. One person liked this. I hope it spoke to him on the deep level of things with awesome potential but, like the Pyramid thing, terrible execution. Digging the coloring though – see? Always a teachable moment. Not great images or text.
#7: This was Almost a Thing
#8: The Entire “Cool Stuff” Page
The Top Posts page was original called “Cool Stuff,” with a title that got people’s hopes up only to disappoint them. It had gotten some of the most views, so I guess I can’t complain. There were Napoleon Dynamite, Family Guy, and other Youtube videos mushing around over there. Not sure how to categorize Cool Stuff but it sounds like that page is the back of an Applebee’s Kids Menu from 1998. I’m glad it’s actually useful now. Lesson: don’t dedicate a whole page of your own website to other people’s stuff in an effort to cozy things up. Only thing worse: “Benji’s Corner,” featuring links to YA lit websites and pictures of dogs and a crackling fireplace GIF.
#9: L. Ron’s Footsteps
There was once a post called, “My Five Minute Glimpse of Scientology in New York.” I kid you not. It had pictures of a Scientologist pamphlet I picked up when some much braver classmates led the group in during a Times Square field trip. Sort of funny, but why we need what is obviously a photo-shopped real-estate catalogue-turned religious text is anyone’s guess. This was intended for visitors to pick up, to show them the kind of real estate options available if they join the organization. Also, every person who worked there was a little…out to lunch. So maybe they really do have something going on.
Hope you enjoyed Southern Boulevard’s self-assessment. Next week: An anniversary celebration.