Top 30 Most Embarassing Family Visit Moments

College visits from family members are notoriously embarrassing. Especially if said visit is one week after move-in day. As common a phenomenon as this is, every college student adopts a characteristic stiff movement and lack of comfort from the moment the visit starts until it ends. Based on both personal experience and that of relatives/friends, here are the top 30 moments everyone wants to forget most:

1. Your dad trying out the bed

2. Your brother wandering the dorm while humming “Lord of the Rings” theme

3. Your dad smelling the refrigerator contents individually

4. Your grandma wandering the halls saying “Now I can say I have been to college!”

5. Something explicit written on someone’s dry-erase on a door as your family walks past

6. Your mom asking to see the bathrooms

7. Parents asking loudly about friendliness of roommate/floor-mates with those people nearby

8. Grandparent making loud prejudiced statements about foreigners, usually involving the sheer volume of foreigners in earshot

9. Grandparent mocking the modern comfort levels compared with their own college experience, which was probably about as good

10. Sibling singing as he forgets he’s in public and not just a private soundproof room

11. Sibling proceeding to choose the loudest method possible of doing everything

12. Parents slipping out embarrassing childhood nicknames

13. Foreign relatives of roommate stocking refrigerator with enough food for a grocery store, most of which has a strong odor

14. Sibling asking if they can go to dining hall to eat, because the dining hall is simply the best thing they’ve ever tasted and it’s so much fun to be in a large bright room entirely dedicated to food

15. Sibling flopping on bed and bandaging sprained ankle

16. Sibling asking where and when they get to see mascot despite being 14 years old, being aware of the weirdness of this and enjoying it greatly

17. Dad gesturing to food in a café and asking so the staff can hear clearly, “Wouldja eat that?”

18. Grandmother sending a text and signing her name after each one

19. Girl cousin turning heads as she assists with move in and having to physically force mother to leave at end

20. Detached, rebellious kid who’s in his room for only 3 hours a day to sleep having a sister and mom show up, revealing that he too is mortal and not just James Dean incarnate as we had all thought before.

21. Girl from high school saying high to girl also from high school you’re walking with and not you. No one’s parents say anything, even when the girls hug

22. Sibling excitedly speculating about nature of Asian roommate as seven Asian exchange students sit down at a table ten feet away

23. Sibling excitedly commenting on the strange fashion choices of alternate sexualities

24. “Zany” uncle mailing you drinking goggles and bringing it up in front of half the family at a reunion

25. Smoke-shop coupon being under door when family arrives, thanks to really awesome coupon guy with tank top who’s down-to-earth and relatable as proven by his goatee

26. Door open to reveal Marylin Monroe poster to grandmother, at which grandmother remarks with a sigh, “They just don’t make them like they used to.”

27. A girl with short hair walks past and sibling immediately asks, “Was that a guy or a girl?”

28. Mother loudly asking if you’re in touch with every high school classmate who goes to university

29. Dad loudly saying he “Doesn’t want to embarrass you” and giving friend next door a “bro nod” upon meeting, leaning in for a handshake and commenting that long hair is just as cool now as when he was in high school, in the 70s.

30. Here’s a bonus sent to me by an uncle…

Mother of Roommate #1 to Roommate #2: Hi, Jay…I’m Chase’s mom.

Me: …and I’m Steven’s mom…I mean, his Dad.

Obviously college is a huge privilege and having a family visit is pretty cool…”Pretty cool how you got the only air conditioner this side of the dorm, am I right? Man, I remember a guy called Jerry Belafonte with a mullet. He used to use a bicycle wheel hooked up to a car battery as a fan. This was in the early 80s, when you were just a dream.” – any parent

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